Onward Stay Puft Soldier!

The Army has decided to send additional side armor to their soldiers fighting in Iraq. The picture above shows Maj. Greg Paul donning a full set of said armor. Seeing this makes it clear the many year's delay in getting these suits to our soldiers. I mean c'mon. The Major looks so fucking fat in that suit. What kind of image of democracy are we gonna send? Fuck all. The powers that be were waiting for something more aesthetically pleasing, OBVIOUSLY. But you know, after a few thousand have died for the sanctity of fashion (in the name of democracy), it might well be time, no? Time it is soldiers. Suck 'em up. Suck 'em in. Tuck 'em under. Get ready for your shipment of Spring Break Sumo Fat Suits! Too bad there's no armor protecting the major's supple, pencil thin ankles.

Army Sending Added Armor to Iraq Units [NYT]